Saturday, February 26, 2005

Awkward

I went to see the Music Man last night. Tony. Whoo. Way to go, tizzel.

So, I'm sitting there, watching this utterly horrible musical being performed, probably as well as you can perform something that was apparently written when the author needed something to take his mind off the horrible pain of the crash he was experiencing after his latest eight day meth binge. It sure seemed to me like something written by a man who would later curl into a ball and vomit blood on his crotch. Maybe that's just because that's what I felt like doing afterwards.

Yeah, maybe that's a little bit harsh. To be honest, the people in it weren't terrible. The directing wasn't bad. It really is just a shitty, shitty piece to perform. Then again, I hate musicals with a passion that puts Iranian mullahs' feelings for America to shame. So, what can I say.

What was awesome though, was how entirely awkward the entire fucking weekend was.

Hey, Schweiss, I heard last time I saw you I tried to choke you in a drunken rage. Sorry about that. Awkward!

Hey, this is like 200 feet from Cindi's dorm room. Awkward!

Hey, I'm sitting in what appears to be a high school auditorium watching people I don't know perform the worst piece of shit ever written, and I keep making snide comments. Awkward!

Hey, Tim Butler, last time I saw you, you told me about how forty percent of the people in your company in Iraq were killed. Awkward!

Hey, Tim's talking about how he and Cindi aren't on speaking terms anymore. Same here, so okay. Hey, he's telling me about how it's because she's a liberal and talks about politics. Awkward!

Hey Tim, did you just run off to the bathroom and puke? In a bar? Awkward!

Hey, it's Lauren Glielmi, I haven't seen her since high school. Well, I'm not quite sure why Sarah pointed her out to me, because it's not like I'm going to talk to her or vice versa. Fuck, she's coming over here. She's talking to me. SHE JUST HUGGED ME! Awkward!

Hey, that's Brent, and we're hanging out with him, although the last several times I saw him, we never said a word to each other. Awkward!

Hey, Brent's girlfriend is sharpening her teeth in my direction. Awkward!

Hey, Brent's talking about Bethany, the girl who I dated years ago, who then tried to kill herself when I dumped her, and then he started dating her after visiting her in the hospital. Awkward!

Hey, the reason he's talking about Bethany is because she's right over there, and there's her current boyfriend, and man I hate Mansfield. Awkward!

Holy SHIT, she's coming over here. Now she's talking to me. Didn't you try to cut your wrists with a sharp rock or something like that? Jesus girl, put some effort into your suicide attempts, is that all I was worth to you? Awkward!

Hey, I just pissed the bed, and it's not even my bed. Awkward!

Okay, well, that last one didn't really happen, but it definitely would've been awkward if it had.

Yeah, that was fun. Countdown to Austin, bi-otches!


1 Comments:

At 26.2.05, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My whole existance. Awkward!

 

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