Monday, June 27, 2005

12 Years

You know, it's funny how things happen sometimes.

Sometimes, you get into a situation you later find you really just can't get out of.

Sometimes, you're in a situation and things are literally blowing up all around you and you still can't get out of it.

Sometimes, you find yourself stuck in a situation that you might not be able to get out of for 5, 6, 8, 10, 12 years.

Sometimes, you do stupid things and regret them later and have to apologize profusely.

Sometimes, you're in Iraq.

Oh, except that last one. You never regret or apologize profusely when it comes to invading a country.

Really, there's not much more than can be said about this, right? I mean, to beat a dead horse is one thing, but to beat a dead horse, lead it to water, drown it, make it into dog food, then kill the dog that eats it and proceed to beat the dead dog... well, you have to draw the line somewhere, right?

So I'll just say this -- there's been a lot of people saying about how Rumsfeld recently said "Insurgencies tend to go on for 5, 6, 8, 10, 12 years" -- echoing all these comments that his advisors had made about how the insurgency is going to last a lot longer than it takes for a "Mission Accomplished" banner to deteriorate from bombardments of sea salt.

Here's what I have to say -- yeah, we all know by now that it's going to last for quite a while. Anyone who doesn't is a dumb, dumb, dumb motherfucker who watches too much Fox News. (Ironically, the quotation above was from an appearance on Fox News Sunday.) But what amazes me is that even in conceding that it may last up to 12 years (read: for about 25 years), Rumsfeld is still incapable of being specific. Really, what's it matter if it's up to 12 years when he said "5, 6, 8, 10, 12 years" -- at that point shouldn't the headline change from "Rumsfeld says insurgency may last up to 12 years" to "Rumsfeld admits he has no fucking clue what's going on around him"? Because honestly, that's what he's saying at this point, isn't it? It's not like he literally said "up to 12 years," what he did was call out the numbers for last week's lottery drawing. How the fuck is it possible to take that seriously when he mentioned FIVE different lengths of time that it COULD last? Is that or is that not equivalent to saying "Dude, I don't know, don't fucking ask me."

Point number two - the insurgency is getting stronger. Rumsfeld also said "they're killing a lot more Iraqis" -- in other words, nobody's able to stop them from blowing up all sorts of shit at this point. But what's amazing is that not only are they getting better at the tactics they're using, they're employing new, fresh, creative ways of executing them. (No pun intended.) Last week, "insurgents" (aka "patriots") put an explosive on a belt, put that belt on a dog, and sent the dog into a group of police officers... you seriously HAVE to admire that kind of creativity. That's the kind of outside-the-box thinking that would propel you to management in any US corporation. Speaking of which, how long do you think it will be before Lockheed Martin builds a robotic dog (like Aibo, the robotic Sony dog) that is capable of acting just like a real dog until it blows up, setting off a dirty bomb or a bunker buster hidden in its stomach?
Trojan dogs. Jeesh.

Good times are around the corner, eh?


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